Sunday, June 26, 2005
I was totally surprised!
My boyfriend had
cyber sex with someone when we were dating!!!
It's unbelievable, but i've learnt to accept it with an open heart upon hearing them.
Guess, all guys are like that anyway...maybe minority are pure Mr. Nice.
I've promise myself to be an independent person, with a mind of her own, live her life to the fullest, enjoy the fun when she's able to.
To trust him again?I will need more time i guess.Will I be able to unleash him?I hope so. I will try not to step into his life like how i used to.Since you love freedom so much...Why bother stepping into a relationship?
If you never thought of committing into a relationship, why am I the chosen one?
Doubts are running all over that mini brain of mine.
I hope I will not put high expectation on this relationship, purely because i'm afraid of the pain that I'll get in return.
I'll learnt to let things go easy. (*
pray hard)
What's past is history, why bother bring them up and made youself feeling upset about them.
please give me a brainwash session!!!
Never be afraid to ask when in doubts. Especially when you feel it is left.
Will I ever change for the better? or for the worst?
Peeps, please pray for me that I'll change for the better (*
fingers crossed & pray doubly hard)
Since you've agreed about the last time...
When I gave you the
absolute freedom, you've been fooling around behind my beautiful back.
Now
leashing you like a puppy I've just bought, you felt it's unfair and you're gasping for oxygen.
So what do you want me to do?
Or should i put it this way, what do you expect me to do to you?
Sometimes, or even now that I'm typing all this stuff while you are sleeping(or whatever you are doing, I'll never know)
I will give you the benefit of doubts.I've promised I'll learnt to trust. So be it.
Yes, my heart is jumping here and there like a panic chicken. But what to do?
I'm afterall, A GIRL.
What do you expect? A guy hormones traps in a girls' body?
It's an absolute NO~
I'm a perfectly normal girl. Feeling the emotions by how a girl should feel.
Doubt me? Whatever it is. I fuck care at this very moment.
I guess, there's no such thing as the so-called "Sweet Relationship".
I'm seriously pissed at this moment, that's shows why I'm here bitching bout stuffs like these.
Yes, I'm a bitch. so what? You think I care much now?
You said "I'm no longer like how i used to be last time, I no longer goes into internet to look for girls". Like as if I'm there very second to check on you. Please spare me. If you wanna hide things from me, you will, eventually you prefer a death to a truthful relationship.
Sometimes you felt like killing me. I know.
Do you know that sometimes I hope you don't even exist on this planet.
Indeed, I'm saying all these simply becos i'm feeling damn pissed or whatsoever now.
Dear readers, please don't take it to heart.
I simply needs to shit all those F***king stuffs out of me.
So now, what should i Do?
option A : be a super nice girlfriend who doesn't get angry at all.
option B : be a bitch girlfriend who knows how to behave at the correct moment.
option C : be ....
Guess, i don't have much brain cells to do all the thinking at this very moment.
While typing... I'm getting more emotional than i expect myself to behave.
Angry? prolly a yes.
pissed? i am indeed.
doubtful? i'm trying not to.
peaceful? i'm not. It's an absolute NO.
theory of the day :Things will never turn out the way you want them to. So fuck care them, and live your own way.
3:05:00 AM
